Good, Not Great

I wanna start this by saying that I am NOT fishing for compliments, so, please do not feel like you need boost my …ego… off of anything that I’m saying. But, with this whole quarantine thing I’ve realized…and been amazed I guess. I’ve been amazed by the number of people that have… found new ways to express themselves. Like, just, all of my artistic-y, theatre-y friends, because I have 5 million of them. And…watching…things that they post on-line of like “ oh hey I’m doing THIS new artistically creative thing” or “I’m doing THIS new artistically creative thing”. And…I keep thinking…I…don’t really have anything…that I do…that’s…like that. I mean, I…I DO. But I don’t have the courage…to…share it with others. Except for talking about random nonsense on this wonderful blog. So I was like, “I should… get back to that and I should do that thing that I …randomly enjoy doing” for, you know, no reason whatsoever.  And, it doesn’t really matter if people watch it or if people care, or you know, the people that do care will watch it and respond and the ones that don’t…won’t. So, its really not, you know… So…here we go…here’s what I’m doing. Yay! But, I…thinking about all of that and thinking about, you know, people who have the courage to, to share those things that they do really well. Whether it be, you know, dance videos or singing videos, or acting stuff, or I’m trying to not blind you all with the light behind me. But…and realizing that I fee, I think…the reason that I don’t have the courage to do that is because I don’t feel like…I’m amazing at any of those things. So, I’m, you know, I’m, I’m good at a lot of things. I’m a, kind of a jack of all trades. I… can do a lot of different things… decently. But I don’t have anything that I’m like, “Oh I’m really great at this thing here. So I should share it with the world because I’m so fantastic at it.” And I…I wish that I had that, but at the same time…I…feel like…you…I don’t know it’s one of those things that you just know that you have. And I, and I KNOW that I enjoy entertaining people. That’s the thing that I KNOW that I enjoy and that I’m good at. But it’s figuring out…what I can do…to do that thing…really well. You know? It’s a…it’s a, it’s a struggle. But, I…so yeah, so here is… hopefully what I’m gonna to be doing for the next however long…is,  you know, randomly…uh, videotaping me being ridiculous and talking about just random…things, that…you know, people probably don’t care about, and if they feel like watching they can, um…but still…um…providing myself that outlet versus…um… keeping everything inside, cause I think that that’s very dangerous. So…um…so yeah, so I’m gonna share, and I’m gonna talk and hopefully…somebody watches and it’ll be fine. But, um…but yeah, that’s, that’s all I’ve got. So…hopefully you all enjoy it and…umm….yeah, enjoy. Please keep doing  and sharing all the wonderful things that you all are doing out there and I hope that you all have a great day. Bye!

Listen to Yourself

Apparently I really needed sleep yesterday. Because not only did I sleep in so much that I had to like race to get to work, so I couldn’t do my workout in the morning. But then, that night, I…last night…that night, whatever, I fell asleep literally sitting up at my kitchen table. Literally. So apparently my body was in desperate need of sleep. Which I find strange, cause I haven’t not been sleeping. So, I, apparently I’m just running myself down. I don’t know. But it brings up a really important point. I had told my online fitness group that I was gonna get my workout in last night and I was gonna take a picture and I was gonna prove it to them. So here’s why you didn’t see a picture. But, I think, it’s very important to listen to what your body’s telling you. Clearly I needed sleep. Which is fine. Took a day off, it’s fine. However, it’s important not to let that turn into a new excuse. Umm, for me this is super important because I will then use those excuses to then derail everything that I’m working toward. So…today, got up, did my workout. TA DA! And, uh, moving on. So, that’s a huge success for me to say “ok, I needed a break yesterday, that’s fine. Jump back into it today, we’re ready to go.” So, wanted to share that little tidbit with ya. Listen to yourselves, let your bodies relax when you need to, let your minds relax when you need to, take breaks when you need to. But don’t give in to that. Make sure that you…recover and keep going and keep moving and keep fighting, everyday. It’s…life is a struggle, but we’re in it together. Umm…so, yeah, that’s, that’s what I’ve got for today. Have a good week everybody.

Weekends Are Hard!

Happy Saturday everyone. I haven’t been incredibly…umm…constant with, uh, doing my blogs, but…I think it’s because I feel like if I don’t have anything to say…then I don’t really have a reason to post anything, so… Today I feel like I have something to say. Sorry, I’m breathing really hard cause I just did my workout. Umm… Which is what I wanted to talk about. Weekends are difficult for me. A lot of people that when I read on, umm, fitness posts and blogs, and online on my group people are like “Oh the weekends great because I have all this time and so I get my workout in and, uh when I don’t have time during the week.” So not true for me. Weekends, because I can sit and relax, my body doesn’t want to do anything. So I have to mentally like force myself to get up and do my workout. Which I did today, so I’m super proud of myself. And, it’s almost like when I do that that I then have proven to myself that it’s possible. So the next time that I have an excuse in my head of “oh, I’m not feeling that great.” Or “Oh I, my knee hurts a little bit today, I think I’m gonna not do anything.” No-no, no-no, Sara get off your butt and do your workout. Do it! So yeah, that’s, that’s kind of where I’m at today. Where I’m realizing that I have this huge mental block when it comes to the weekend. And I need to get out of that. Because, I want to see myself get healthy. And feel comfortable in my own skin. And get rid of the excuses that I have for not living my life to its fullest potential. So that’s what I’m doing. Today is done. Workout-Success. I hope you all have a great weekend. And, hopefully I will see you a little bit more often this week. Have a good one.

Community

Hi guys! So I was doing my devotion this morning and they were talking about being lost. And, that’s a topic that, uh, the devotions have covered before, umm, but, I was thinking about, umm. More, not like being lost physically, but being lost emotionally and spiritually. And I definitely have had those times in my life. A lot of people would say that I am still kind of going through a little bit of that. But the question was, umm, where…do you, or who, uh, helped you reorient yourself, or what helped you reorient yourself. And I definitely think that Community is really important when you’re feeling emotionally or spiritually lost. Umm, for those people that are, umm, religious then definitely your, uh, your church community, or, your umm, faith community of any kind. Umm. For me in High School, or in, College, umm, it was very much the staffs that I worked with in Summer Camp. Faith wise. But, I’ve definitely found…myself, found myself, umm, in the fitness groups that I’ve been, uh, that I’ve joined recently. And it’s super amazing, and I’ve been told, many, many times before in my life that accountability is important. Obviously. And having that supportive buddy, like a workout buddy or, uh, you know, somebody that you can reach out to to make sure that you’re doing all the things that you should be doing. And I’ve joined a couple of fitness groups on Facebook and it’s crazy how centered staying active in that will make you. And it’s blowing my mind actually. So, umm. Yeah, find your community, that would be my phrase for today. Find your community. Make it, make it tailored to you. It doesn’t have to be fitness, it doesn’t have to be faith. It could be theater. I have a wonderful theater community. It could be a quilting community, it could be, uh, whatever. Sports team, you know, anything. Whatever you find, uh, gives you passion in your life. Use that community. Not necessarily asking them for the support or whatever that you would, uh, think you need. But, just get involved. Throw yourself into it. Be fully committed to whatever that group or community is and it’s amazing the emotional support that will be given back to you. So yeah, that’s what I’ve got for today. I hope everybody has a great day. Umm. And…I’ll see ya later.

The Power of a Positive Mindset

It is gross and freezing rainy outside so what better to do then do a blog post to all of my fantastic people. Since I got sent home from work early and have time. So…uh, mindset is a huge topic that I’ve heard on a lot of my umm, Facebook fitness groups, umm, and my, uh,…the…you know, food blogs and other podcasts that people do. And, I used to not really pay attention to that, and/or, think that that really had much to do with it. Plus I was like “Well, I’m doing pretty good. I mean, you know, I have a decent mindset. I don’t really need to work on it.” Such a lie! So, I started working with a trainer one on one. I talked about her before, Nina Schreckengost, she’s amazing by the way. And, one of the things that she stresses a huge amount is mindset and the fact that if…she’s actually said this like legit before, but if you are in the same place mentally…30 pounds from now why would you stay there? Why would you keep that success? Basically that, when we work to lose weight our body changes, so why shouldn’t our mind change with it? Because in order to accept yourself at that new smaller weight, or stronger muscles, or whatever physical place you’re in, if your mind isn’t ready to accept where you’re at, you’re never gonna succeed and stay there. It’ll, you’ll go right back into your old body physical shape because your mind is still there. So, that is something that I’ve, uh, taken and run with in terms of…umm…trying to focus on the positives in my life. Trying to, make myself believe the good things that people say about me. That I’ve been told, but, my normal way to take a compliment is, “yeah, but, you’re being nice.” So I’ve tried to force myself to take those things that people say and that I need to believe about myself if I’m ever gonna to get to where I wanna be. And really think through that. And it’s amazing how focusing just that little bit on making myself a more positive person is amazing. In how I see myself and how I see not only my successes in my weight loss journey, but also those days and weeks and months that I have failure. Where I’m “too busy” to work out or I don’t meal prep correctly, so I go the fast food joint for the whole week and of course the weight comes back on. Umm, so instead of seeing that as a huge failure and not wanting to keep going I’m able to look at that and say “You know what? That’s ok. That’s down, that’s it, we’re gonna start from here, we’re gonna keep going.” Because I know what I need to do to get to where I wanna be. It’s just taking those steps, every day. And reminding myself that I do see success when I try and follow, umm, the paths that’s put in front of me and make those positive changes in my life. So that’s it for today. Umm, I haven’t been keeping up with this. So I’m gonna try really hard to keep posting and talking about, umm, random stuff and also my weight loss journey on the way. I hope you all have a wonderful day and, umm…we’ll see you later!

Five Days Down

All right, so, weight loss journey check in time. Umm, I’m kind of proud of myself, uh, today actually. Umm. Not that I’ve ex…you know made some huge massive change. But, umm, they always say that in your weight loss journey it’s about the little changes that then create the big change. And I…have managed to do workouts, uh, for the last 5 days. Today was day 5. I’m breathing a little heavy and I’m a little sweaty cause I just finished. Umm. I’ve been working out in the mornings, which has been fantastic for giving me energy all day. And that’s a big thing that I’ve noticed this time around. I mean I’ve… previously when I’ve been working out, umm, I’ve noticed that I have energy. Umm. But for some reason, I don’t know if it’s the workouts with the combination of the healthier eating that I’m doing, umm, and things like that. Umm. And the mental practices that I use in the mornings, umm, plus the workouts that’s giving me so much energy. But umm, but yeah, this time I feel crazy good. Umm, And I’ve noticed, nobody else probably would notice. Umm, but I told my trainer, Nina Schreckengost, about this. And I was super excited, umm, and, in a weird way. I was like, this is kinda weird, kind of a weird thing to notice. But I’m kind of excited about it. But the muscles, not that you can see where I’m pointing, between, uh, my hamstrings and my glutes are like super more defined then they were. Umm, and I just randomly noticed it. Like, I don’t know, I was like brushing off my pants or something and I was like huh! Hey there’s muscles there that I didn’t know about. Umm. So that was super exciting. And when I told, uh, Nina about it she was like: well, that means that you’re doing things in proper form, so good job. And I was like Oh! Well thanks! That’s good to know. I’ll keep that up then. Umm, so yeah, so that’s exciting. That’s where I’m at. Five days down. Umm. And yeah, I’m loving every second of it. So…yay! I hope everybody else is having a great week. Happy Tuesday! Umm. And I will see you later!

New Year Breakthrough

So I became, uhh, incognito again. But, uh, here I am trying to get back on track, and umm, do the things that I really feel like I need to be doing. Umm. Like for instance, I’ve really stepped it up both, uh, exercise-wise and healthy eating wise. It may not look like it from what’s back here, but we’re working on it. Umm. But yeah, I’ve…made kind of a major breakthrough in the last week of, uh, the year, into this new year. Ummm. And I…I just realized that I…I’m capable, and I deserve…to be happy in life. And to lose weight, and to be healthy. Umm. There isn’t anything stopping me, except for me. So, I need to stop doing that and start getting healthy and to be the way I want to be. Umm. I was doing a devotion this morning and the, one of the questions was: How much do you think other people affect the way you feel about failure. Or something like that. Umm. And I responded, cause I write in my little journal. Umm. That definitely some, I feel like other people affect my self worth, umm, in some ways. Umm, And I think that’s true of everybody. Umm. But, what I said was that I know that, umm, I feel like, uh, people don’t see me. Uh, I feel invisible a lot. And not…uh, be, it’s not anybody’s fault, I just, it’s how I feel, whether it’s true or not. Umm, but then I know that a lot of that is on me. Umm, I tend to not demand to be seen. And since I don’t always like to be in the spotlight, umm, it’s kind of a big battle.  Because, umm, I don’t like attention put on me. Umm, cause I don’t feel like I deserve it, I guess is how that works. And yet, here I am doing a video blog. So, I, you know. It’s a world of contradictions. But, yeah, so that’s where I’m at. I’m back. I’m gonna chat a little bit everyday and we’ll see how it goes. Have a great week.