Theatre Family Dynamics

One of the…funnest parts of being…in a show…is building the comradery with your cast mates. And I’m, don’t have that experience on this show, uh “Miracle in Bedford Falls” right now. Cause choreo…chor, choreographying? Wow, good English. Choreographing. I am a little bit separate from all of that, uh…, interaction that happens back stage, umm, before you go on. Uh, I’ve heard a lot of people throughout my experience talking about, umm, you know you have your pre-show rituals, or your pre-scene rituals, or as you come on stage for certain scenes you always talk to this specific person, you have your moment, umm, on stage, uh, during a scene. Umm, especially as like a chorus person where you’re pretending to be a crowd, or your walking through a street scene, so you interact and have looks that you share with different people every time you do a scene. And one of the interesting things to watch as a choreographer, umm, is to see all of those different character aspects come out and see them develop and grow, and umm. For some reason tonight I just…saw a lot more of that and reacted to it and it was funny and it…it made me smile to see some of those things. And…it…it’s interesting…to see the different ways that people interact. Umm. Both the, the actors onstage and backstage, uh, the crew. Umm. I was in a particular vantage point that I could see a little bit of all of that. I saw some of the actors onstage, I saw them offstage, I could see some of the crew in the wings, I could see the pit and how they were interacting with each other and…and then of course I was interacting with different people as well.  And it, it just really kinda brought home that family aspect of doing theater. Umm, and especially with community theater where you don’t do shows for more then a couple of weekends of performances. It really makes you realize how special those relationships and, and family moments are. Umm. You know its part of the reason we do it. Is to connect with each other and connect with an audience and, umm, just really get to explore the human experience in a way that not everyone else does. Umm. So yeah, it was…an interesting food for thought today. So, umm, thought I’d share. Have a good day.

Joys of Procedural Dramas

So, I’m really into…watching…uh, police procedural dramas. Right? I think this is something that umm, I learned… not learned, but I developed a taste for, uh, because of, uh, my grandfather and my dad. Cause we used to watch shows, umm, like NYPD Blue and Law and Order, umm as a family. That was our, we would all sit down to dinner and then we would turn on the tv and we’d all watch and we’d talk about it and, umm, it would provoke conversations during dinner, uh. But it was something that we all enjoyed watching, and commenting on, and talking about.

And, so now I find myself watching shows, umm, things like Blue Bloods, and, uh, NCIS…SSSSes all of them, uh, and the CSI,  uh, Franchise as well, and I…the thing that I love about it…is. Ooo! Criminal Minds too. Oh my gosh!  Criminal Minds fan. And…the thing I love about it is the different dynamics that the different teams have. And I always think, uh, you know, cause as an actor you’re always like “oh what type of a show would I want to be on?” and “What would I wanna do?” I would, I would love to be part of a team like that. Like a team-focused show. Because I think…I just find it so interesting. All of the different shows have different team dynamics, but each one is so interesting. Like I just…I don’t know what it is about them that just draws me in. Cause then I wanna see…I watch them more for all of the different team dynamics and how they interact with each other and, and how the relationships change and build and…you know. It’s just interesting. And to see like the little side interactions that get picked up on by…and I don’t know if those are written in, I don’t know if it’s things that develop naturally. I don’t know, but I find it super entertaining. And I love to tear it apart and…umm…sorry the cat’s doing weird things…umm. But I like to tear it apart and analyze it and, so I re-watch thin…I’m a huge re-watcher. Like I will watch things 12 times to look at different pieces of it. My parents know this. But, yeah, I just, I love it and I, I love to watch those. But then, the problem with that is that I then get sucked in and like watch, binge-watch even when I should be sleeping. Problem. So, that’s probably what I’m gonna do right now. Is I’m gonna go watch some more NCIS: Los Angeles, because that’s the show I’m hooked on right now. So, have a good day, umm, and I will see you all tomorrow.

Compliments

Hello! So today’s thought was…umm…I never…really think about the things that I say to compliment people. Which sounds really bad…but it’s not I promise. So…umm…I’ve had several moments during, uh…this rehearsal process where, I’ll give somebody a compliment or umm, we’ll be having a conversation and uh, you know, something nice will happen. And then, a couple of days later they’ll come back to me and be like “that was really nice and I appreciated that”, umm, “You have no idea how much it meant”, and, uh, you know all of those types of accolades. And…it…I don’t know why it surprises me so much to…realize that the things that I say to people they take to heart. But umm, cause I take a lot of things that other people say to heart, so why wouldn’t it go the other way? Umm, but…I…I’ve just realized it a lot during this show and I…I don’t know if it’s cause of the people that are in it? Or, umm… maybe I’m just being more aware of the way that I interact with people? Because I find that a lot of times when I’m working on a show, while I’m very much a part of it and I love all of the people that I’m working with. I always feel a little separate from the community of the show. And it’s nobody’s fault. I think it’s just my weird social anxiety…ssss…whatever issues. But,…I think I’m more connected with this show, and I, I don’t…I don’t know why. Umm. But, I’m, I’m enjoying it and it’s,…it’s nice to feel that community atmosphere, umm…So yeah. That’s my, my pleasant thought for today. Take a second to, to think about the…compliments that you got and…umm… be thankful for, for your communities. Wherever they are, and whatever they are. Have a good day.

Delusions of Grandeur

Ok. So I want to start this out by saying that I am not fishing for compliments. Got it? But if you want to compliment me I will always take them. But that’s not what this is about. So…I was…watching the rehearsal for “Miracle In Bedford Falls” tonight and I do…ff…find that I do this a lot. Where…weird hair thing. Umm… where I’ll be sitting and thinking about like, auditions for the next show, or umm, you know, some event that’s coming up, or random…I don’t even know…random stuff. And…I start thinking about and playing out different scenarios in my head of things that could happen. You know, and it’s always somethin’ about…uh…you know…me getting this really great part that I really want, or…umm… some crazy…once in a lifetime experience happens because of…whatever. Umm…and I don’t know if it’s just cause I have a really active imagination or if I’m really just that crazy…umm…that I come up with all of these ridiculous…maybe not always ridiculous, let me be fair. But things that would not happen to normal people. Because I am very much a normal person…well “normal” person. But it just…it…I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m…crazy, or if… this is something that other people do where you dream up all of these great things that you want to happen? Or…whatever it is. But…I was just thinking about that in the car on the way home. And I was like…”I wonder if other people come up with all of these scenarios that will really probably never happen?” Umm…But I’ll play them out in my head all the time. And then…especially when it comes to like acting and stuff. Umm…You know I’ll play it out and I’ll be like, “Oh I’m gonna get this great part and it’s gonna be amazing and everyone’s gonna think I’m fantastic.” Usually doesn’t work out that way. Umm…Sometimes I get the part, sometimes I…don’t…umm. But…yeah…I think that in my head I have all of these great things that I expect to happen and they don’t always necessarily play out that way. Sometimes they’re better umm…and different. Uh…but, sometime…usually it’s not quite the fantasy that I have in my head. Maybe I’m just need to stop…I don’t even know, I don’t even know what would stop that. But umm…but yeah, so that’s my random thoughts for today. Please feel free to comment if you have any suggestions, or wanna commiserate with me. Umm…But yeah, that’s, that’s my thought for today. Have a good one.

The Laramie Project

Hey everybody, I have not posted on here in a while because, um, I felt like I didn’t have… anything to say. And…that’s probably not true, but, um, I didn’t feel like it was important to… say it to the world, I guess. Um, but,…right now I’m doing a show called “The Laramie Project”…at Playcrafters Barn Theatre which is, um,…like our director said, uh, for opening night, in her speech that, it is very much a passion project. Um,…everybody involved in the show has some kind of personal connection to the story that we’re telling. Um,…and I think that, um, … it’s important to share, it’s…the, very much so, the story is written to be … about hope. Yes, it is about a hate crime, um, it’s about…you know… differences, and divisions, and hate, and…all of those things. But inevitably, … and I think that it’s the message that the Matthew Shepard Foundation shares…incredibly well. It is about hope and hope rising out of those differences. And people …moving forward, and learning, and…caring about each other, you know, um. It’s, it’s super important…and…uh,…so much for me, not just to be involved. I mean, I’m ex… I’m stoked to be involved. I’m, I love being able to help tell this story, and, and do…this important work, um, especially as an actor it’s something that …I love doing. I love telling people’s stories…and sharing…those events from history that we need to learn from and to make better. Um, but so much more for me is to…I get to watch… an amazing group of actors…be passionate and be amazing. I…my fellow actors that are on this stage with me…blow my mind and I get to watch them every night, and, … and listen to them tell this story and…it’s…beyond amazing. So, if you’re in the Quad Cities area and you’re…uh…free tonight, uh, at 7:30 or tomorrow at 3:00 you should check it out because this is an important story and it’s one that I think everybody should hear. And I’m glad that I get the chance… to help share it. So…that’s what my weekend is about. It’s gonna be super emotional and, and, um, very intense, but I’m, I’m super excited that I get to be part of it and I wanted to share. So, have a good rest of your weekend everybody.

Graduation Day

Exciting News today! Umm...I…graduated…from…Physical Therapy. Now…to…some people that may not be very exciting, but…umm…it’s kind of a…big deal…for me. Umm… Let me give you a little bit of history. I…injured my left knee…umm… I strained tendons in it when I was…twelve years old, uh, it was a dance injury, umm, and I have been a dancer my whole life. I started when I was seven and I’ve never stopped. Umm…So…it was a big deal, when I injured my knee. Umm,…I injured my left knee when I was twelve, umm, I then injured my right knee in the same way when I was sixteen and, umm…thankfully that knee is a lot stronger from having to compensate for my left knee all those years. So it’s been pretty stable since the last…since that injury. And then I was in…Children of Eden at Quad City Music Guild…in August of 20…16. And I re-injured…my left knee…It was a big deal…I…uh, went to physical therapy then…umm, and got back some function. Umm,…but it was still… super, super weak…and I was…, umm nervous about dancing on it,…umm, nervous that I wouldn’t be able to dance on it anymore, umm, even though I felt ok most of the time. And could do most daily functions…umm…the dancing was a, was…scary…So I…uh, went to an orthopedist…and, umm, got an MRI…everything checked out. Got a new knee brace, that umm, is way more functional so that’s exciting. Cause I will wear it all the time, cause I can move in it and do the things that I wanna do…Umm,…And so…and then I went back to Physical Therapy, uh, to just strengthen it and work on it. And, umm, today I went to the Physical Therapist and we reassessed where I was at, umm, based on everything we’ve done and he said that I don’t need to go see him anymore. That I am at 90%, uh, functionality. Umm, of a 100, you know, 100%...whatever….umm… So…yay, its very exciting. Umm, I went to the Genesis Sports and Physical Therapy up on 53^rd St. for anyone who wants to know, cause it’s fantastic. Umm…so yeah, so that’s super exciting, I am cleared to dance, as long as I wear my knee brace. And…umm…I can do…pretty much everything that I need to do. So…that’s a huge step, and, and a huge relief from, uh, where I was even like a month ago. When I was terrified that I wouldn’t get back to where I was, uh, before this new knee injury. So…yay! And I just wanted to share that and…umm…give props to, uh, the Physical Therapy…umm…for Genesis. So…that’s…all I have to say, and…hopefully you all are having a good day too. And umm…and Yay! …Ok, have a good one.

Being Home

Today…I’m thinking about the idea of home. And what that means to different people…I mean obviously, like, your home is, you know, where you grew up, or, umm, where your parents live, or where you live with your spouse or your family…Umm… While that’s true, umm, there’s also that idea of a created home…or…the places that you feel most at home. Umm, and for some people that’s not the place where they sleep. Umm, like for me, I… say it all the time, that when I walk into a theatre I instantly feel at home. Doesn’t matter if I’ve been there …before, doesn’t matter…umm,…tsk…you know, how many times I’ve been there…or…um…if I’m working on a show or not. Just that idea of being in a place of entertainment like that…umm…it’s…comfortable…and…I…like…weight drops off …my shoulders, you know I’m able to…to forget about it for 2 hours or 4 hours or however long I’m there. Umm…no where else feels like that…and I …don’t know…umm…tsk…how to, how to recreate that anywhere else. The other place that that happens, amazingly, is at umm, is at camp. At the camps that I’ve worked at. Umm…Going to Mt. Cross in Santa Cruz…uh…I could go anytime and it feels like I’ve never left. Umm…and then, uh, Walcamp here in DeKalb. I…every time I go back it’s like going home. And…I don’t…get that…umm… in a lot of other places. Umm…I’m more comfortable in those places then I am anywhere else. And I…keep trying to figure out what that means. Haven’t figured it out yet. So…umm…but yeah,…the idea of being home and being comfortable somewhere is something…uh…that has come up a lot lately in my thought process and things that I’ve read. Umm, so yeah, there’s my thought for today. Have a good one.